Humorous Scented Candle — "This Candle Is Doing More For Me Than Therapy" (Coconut Apricot Wax, 4oz & 9oz)
About the Candle (aka Your New Coping Mechanism)
Hand-poured coconut apricot wax candles designed to bring calm, warmth, and just enough personality to get you through the day. Each candle is poured in the USA with clean, non-toxic coconut apricot wax and a cotton wick—because if you’re spiraling, at least your candle doesn’t have to be toxic.
Every candle comes in a reusable amber or clear glass jar with a gold lid (fancy, but not trying too hard). Choose from a lineup of thoughtfully curated scents—like the crisp evergreen of Fraser Fir, the cozy comfort of Cinnamon Chai, the soft “I’ve got my life together” vibes of Cashmere Musk, the beach-day optimism of Mango Coconut, the warm hug that is Vanilla Bean, and more. Feeling overstimulated? Unscented is available for when you just want fire and silence.
These candles burn cleanly for hours, filling your space with good smells and better vibes. When it’s done, the jar sticks around as a cute little keepsake—perfect for plants, cotton rounds, or pretending you’re organized.
Product Features
- Natural coconut apricot wax — colorless, odorless, non-toxic (unlike your inner monologue)
- Cotton wick in a reusable amber or clear glass jar with gold lid
- Scent options: Fraser Fir, Cinnamon Chai, Cashmere Musk, Beachwood, Mango Coconut, Vanilla Bean, Lavender, Blackberry Vanilla, or Unscented
- Burn time: up to 20 hours (4 oz) or 50 hours (9 oz) of pretending everything is fine
- Made in the USA and ASTM safety compliant
- No parabens, phthalates, plastics, or synthetic dyes—because we have standards
Candle Care (Please Read, We’re Begging)
- Trim the wick to ¼ inch before burning (this is not optional)
- Keep the wax pool free of debris—yes, that includes pet hair
- Use a heat-resistant candle holder and burn in a well-ventilated room
- Don’t burn longer than 3 hours at a time; let it cool for at least 2 hours before relighting
- Never leave a candle unattended (even if you “just stepped away for a second”)
- Keep away from kids, pets, and questionable life choices
- Don’t burn it all the way down
- Use a candle snuffer to extinguish—dramatic blowing is not recommended